Mr. Hyde, The Hulk and Abel | Facing the Shadow Within

Diana Rivers

Hey everyone, welcome back to The H2H Experiment! I'm Diana Rivers, and as always, I'm joined by my partner in curiosity, Joao. How's it going, Joao?

Joao

Hey Diana! I'm doing great, thanks. Super excited for this one. Today, we're diving into something a little darker, right? We're talking about the shadow within—those hidden forces that shape our emotions, especially in leadership. It's episode nine, and honestly, this topic is... well, it's a bit uncomfortable, but also super important.

Diana Rivers

Yeah, I mean, we all like to think we're rational and in control, but let's be real—there's a lot going on under the surface. So today, we're gonna explore what happens when we ignore that inner darkness, and why facing it is actually key to being a better leader—and, you know, a better human.

Joao

So, let's start with some stories. I always think about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You know, the classic tale where Dr. Jekyll tries to separate his good side from his bad side, but ends up unleashing Mr. Hyde—who's basically all his worst impulses, just running wild. It's fiction, but it really nails how dangerous it is to deny our darker impulses. If you just try to pretend they're not there, they don't go away—they just get stronger.

Diana Rivers

Totally. And it's not just old stories, right? I mean, look at The Hulk. Bruce Banner is this brilliant, thoughtful guy, but when he gets angry, boom—he turns into the Hulk. It's like, we all have that potential for destruction if we don't pay attention to what's going on inside. I actually had a moment like that back in college. I was in this super intense sports rivalry, and I could feel myself getting so competitive, almost to the point of losing control. I mean, I didn't turn green or anything, but I definitely saw my own 'inner Hulk' come out. It was kind of scary, honestly.

Joao

Yeah, and then there's the story of Cain and Abel from the Bible. Cain lets his jealousy and anger take over, and it leads to tragedy. It's like, these stories from totally different times and places all point to the same thing: if we don't recognize and deal with our shadow side, it can cause real harm—to ourselves and to others.

Diana Rivers

Exactly. And I think that's why these stories stick with us. They're not just about monsters or villains—they're about us, and the choices we make when we're under pressure.

Joao

So, let's get a little nerdy for a second. Have you read "Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman? He talks about System 1 and System 2—basically, System 1 is our fast, automatic, emotional brain, and System 2 is the slower, more rational part. When we're triggered, it's usually System 1 running the show. It's all about survival, right? Our brains are wired to react quickly to threats, but sometimes those 'threats' are just, like, a tough email or a stressful meeting.

Diana Rivers

Oh, totally. And half the time, we don't even realize why we're reacting the way we are. It's like, something from our past just pops up and hijacks the moment. I mean, I still get weirdly defensive if someone questions my decisions in a meeting—probably because of some old boss who used to, I don't know, micromanage everything I did. It's wild how those old experiences just stick around.

Joao

Yeah, and that's why it's so important to recognize our triggers. If we don't, we're just letting our unconscious self run the show. And in leadership, that can be really dangerous, because people are looking to you for stability, not for, you know, emotional outbursts.

Diana Rivers

Right, and when leaders lose control, the impact is huge. I mean, we've all seen—or maybe even worked for—that boss who just explodes out of nowhere. It creates this atmosphere of anxiety and mistrust. People start walking on eggshells, and honestly, it just kills creativity and collaboration.

Joao

Yeah, I actually saw this firsthand at a company I used to work for. The president was brilliant, but he had these moments of, like, total rage. One time, he just lost it in a meeting, and after that, people started leaving. Some of the best talent just walked out the door—including me, eventually. It was like, no matter how good the vision was, nobody wanted to stick around in that kind of environment.

Diana Rivers

That's so real. And it's not just about the outbursts, right? It's about trust. If you never know what version of your leader you're gonna get, you can't really feel safe. And that's where Carl Jung's idea of the 'shadow' comes in. He said that the parts of ourselves we ignore or deny don't just disappear—they actually end up controlling us in ways we don't even realize.

Joao

Exactly. Jung believed that facing your shadow is essential, not just for personal growth, but for being a responsible leader. If you ignore it, it just festers and comes out in destructive ways.

Diana Rivers

So, let's talk about what you can actually do about all this. This is the HX Experiment of the week—practical ways to recognize and integrate your shadow self. One thing that's helped me is reflective journaling. Just writing down what triggered me during the day, and trying to figure out where that reaction came from. Sometimes it's obvious, sometimes it's like, whoa, I didn't even know I was carrying that around.

Joao

Yeah, and self-compassion is huge. It's not about beating yourself up for having a shadow—it's about understanding it. Like, instead of thinking, "I shouldn't feel jealous," you can say, "Okay, I'm feeling jealous. Where's that coming from?" There's also this thing called the 3-2-1 Shadow Process. Basically, you notice something in someone else that really bugs you, then you have an imaginary conversation with them, and finally, you try to see that trait in yourself. It's kind of weird, but it actually works.

Diana Rivers

I love that. And honestly, sometimes I just need to get out of my head. I've used art—like, just doodling or painting—to process stuff that's bugging me at work. It's amazing what comes out when you let yourself be creative without a plan. I had this one time where I was so frustrated with a project, and after an hour of just messing around with colors, I realized what was really bothering me. It was a total breakthrough.

Joao

And there are leaders out there who do this work, right? The ones who actually face their shadow end up building teams that trust them, that innovate, that feel safe to take risks. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Diana Rivers

So, to wrap up—today we talked about the shadow within, why it's so important to acknowledge it, and how unchecked emotional volatility can really damage teams and organizations. We shared some stories, some science, and some practical tools—like journaling, self-compassion, and the 3-2-1 Shadow Process—for doing your own shadow work. And don't forget the HX Experiment of the week: reflect on a recent emotional reaction, figure out what triggered it, and try one step to integrate that shadow part of yourself.

Joao

Yeah, and if you want to go deeper, check out our articles on LinkedIn and our videos on YouTube—just search for The H2H Experiment. We love hearing from you, so let us know how your shadow work goes, or if you have stories to share.

Diana Rivers

Thanks so much for listening, everyone. Facing your shadow isn't easy, but it's the path to real, authentic leadership that delivers great HX. We'll be back soon with more experiments and more stories. Joao, always a pleasure.

Joao

Always, Diana. Take care, everyone, and keep experimenting. See you next time!