Imposter Syndrome | The Secret Saboteur

Joao

Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of The H2H Experiment! I am absolutely thrilled to have you here with me today as we dive into one of those deeply human experiences that, honestly, most of us prefer to keep hidden away. But not today. Today, we’re bringing it out into the open.

Joao

Okay, let me ask you something right off the bat. Have you ever had that moment where, despite all the evidence to the contrary, you just feel like you're faking it—like, at any second, someone’s going to point at you and say, 'See, they don’t belong here!'? Yeah? Well, you’re not alone. That feeling, my friends, is the infamous Imposter Syndrome.

Joao

And trust me, I know it well. I mean, there I was, just a few years ago, about to step on stage at a major conference—something I had worked hard to prepare for, by the way—and bam! This little voice popped up, saying, 'Who do you think you are? They're gonna figure you out in seconds!' It hit me like a wave of panic, completely out of nowhere.

Joao

And you know what? It's fascinating, isn't it? Because so many of us deal with it. Actually, studies suggest that around 70% of people feel this way at some point in their lives. 70%! That's huge! So, trust me when I say—if you're feeling this, you are absolutely not alone.

Joao

And that’s exactly what we’re unpacking today. We're gonna talk about what Imposter Syndrome is, why it happens, and, most importantly, how we can face it head-on. Sounds good? Alright, let’s jump right in!

Joao

So, as I mentioned earlier, 70% of people experience this, and it’s really about that persistent mental loop, isn’t it? Imposter syndrome is this nagging narrative that, somehow, you’re not as capable as others believe. And then comes that fear—this idea that, at any moment, someone’s going to pull back the curtain and say, 'Ah-ha! We knew it.'

Joao

And the wild thing is, impostor syndrome doesn’t discriminate. It’s not about how much success you’ve achieved, how hard you've worked, or how well-prepared you are. Some of the most accomplished people in the world—the folks who you’d think would just exude confidence—deal with this exact same fear. It’s a shared secret that no one really talks about. But it’s there. It's real.

Joao

Now, where does this all come from? Well, to unpack that, let’s pull in some psychological heavyweights, like Carl Jung. Jung talked about this idea of the 'shadow self'—this buried part of us that we tend to hide, because, honestly? We’re afraid of being judged for it. But here's the kicker. The shadow self doesn’t just magically disappear because we ignore it. No, it sits there in the corners of our minds, whispering that we’re not enough, making us feel smaller, even when we’re standing tall.

Joao

Brené Brown, on the other hand, argues for the power of vulnerability. She says—and I’m paraphrasing her here—that the very thing we’re most afraid to show the world might actually be our greatest strength. Being real with ourselves, acknowledging those feelings of fraudulence, and being open about them—that’s what leads to connection, to authenticity. And isn’t it ironic? The thing that feels so uncomfortable is often what we most need.

Joao

And then you’ve got Adlerian psychology, which tells us that the root of so much of our behavior is our need for belonging, for significance. Imposter syndrome thrives when we feel like we don’t belong—and it feeds on fear. It’s like this uninvited guest that shows up at the party you’re hosting, making noise and trying to ruin the vibe. But here’s the thing—it’s your party. You decide who stays.

Joao

Now, let me circle back to that moment before I stepped onto that conference stage. That little voice in my head—it wasn’t just doubting my credentials or my preparation. It was challenging my right to be there at all. It felt like I was about to run a marathon... in flip-flops. Completely ridiculous, right? But that’s the power of this mental saboteur. It doesn’t play by logic; it plays on your deepest fears.

Joao

But here’s the flip side—and I wish I could have told myself this in that moment: those doubts, those feelings of inadequacy? They’re just noise. They’re static in the background of your actual reality. And when you learn to tune them out, or at least turn the volume way down, you start to see yourself clearly—beyond the self-criticism, beyond the fear.

Joao

And as you start to quiet that noise and see yourself more clearly, you realize something else—imposter syndrome isn’t just about how you see yourself in isolation. It spills over into your relationships too. Like, consider this—when you feel unworthy, it’s draining, isn’t it? You start questioning whether you truly deserve the love or respect being shown to you, almost like you’re bracing for that moment when someone might look at you and say, 'You’re not who I thought you were.'

Joao

And it creates this distance. Instead of connecting, you kind of, you know, pull away. It’s as if you’re building a wall of self-doubt, brick by brick, between yourself and the people that care about you. This idea that 'if they really knew me, they'd see the cracks'—it stops you from being fully yourself. And that’s heartbreaking, because the irony? They probably see more good in you than you see in yourself.

Joao

Then there’s the whole thing about receiving compliments. Oh, man, who can't relate to that moment where someone says, 'Wow, you did such a great job,' and you’re like, 'Oh, no, it was just luck,' or, 'Oh, the team did all the work, not me.' Sound familiar? Yeah, I’ve been there, too. Instead of just saying thank you and letting the words sink in, we push them away, almost like they’re too heavy to carry.

Joao

Now, imagine, if that’s how it shows up in your personal life, then times that by ten for the professional world. Picture this—someone gets promoted to a leadership role. They’re sharp, capable, and clearly the right fit, but they hesitate to share their ideas in meetings or question whether they deserve their seat at the table. Oh, I remember a colleague who went through exactly that. It was almost painful to watch, because, from the outside, they were nailing it. But on the inside? They were paralyzed by this fear of being 'found out.'

Joao

And it’s not just about hesitation. Imposter syndrome in the workplace can lead to overworking—this relentless cycle of pushing yourself harder and harder to compensate for doubts. And let’s be honest...burnout doesn’t exactly boost confidence, does it? It ends up being this vicious loop. You overwork to prove yourself, you burn out, and then feel even less capable, which just feeds the syndrome.

Joao

Trust becomes a big issue, too. Not just trusting others, but trusting yourself. Like, you might assume your colleagues are constantly judging you. That lack of trust strains relationships. I mean, how do you collaborate effectively if you're always second-guessing whether you belong or whether your voice really matters?

Joao

And here’s the thing, it’s not just the people experiencing imposter syndrome who pay the price—it affects teams, organizations, even creativity itself. If people hold back, worried their ideas will reveal them as 'frauds,' think about everything that’s missed. Every potential breakthrough, every innovation—it just gets buried under layers of silence and doubt.

Joao

It´s easy now to make the bridge between the impostor syndrome and how it can impact the whole idea of HX, right?

Joao

So, yeah, whether it’s personal or professional life, this syndrome? It’s got teeth.

Joao

Alright, so we’ve seen how deeply imposter syndrome can sink its roots, affecting both personal and professional parts of our lives. It’s heavy, isn’t it? But here’s the good news—it doesn’t have to stay that way. There are practical, real tools that can help you loosen its grip, tools that can shift you from feeling stuck in self-doubt to moving forward with clarity and confidence. Let’s dive into what those look like.

Joao

The first tool is self-compassion. And I know, I know—it sounds simple, right? But think about this: how often do we treat ourselves with the same kindness and grace that we’d offer to a close friend? When a friend stumbles or doubts themselves, you’d say, 'Hey, it’s okay, you’ll get through this.' But when it’s us? Oh no, we’re way harsher. We focus on every little mistake, every perceived flaw, and let it spiral. So, here’s what I’d encourage you to do. Pause in those moments of doubt and ask yourself, 'What would I say to a friend in my shoes?' And then... say it to yourself. Even if it feels strange or awkward at first. I promise, it’s a muscle—one you can strengthen over time.

Joao

Next is reframing your negative thoughts. I love this because it’s almost like playing detective with your brain. Imagine this—you’re caught in a mental loop, telling yourself, 'I’m not good enough for this role' or, 'I don’t deserve this success.' What if, instead, you stopped right there and asked, 'Where’s the evidence for that?' And more often than not, there’s none. It’s just your mind running old scripts, based on fear or past conditioning. Interrupting that loop and challenging those thoughts—it’s empowering. You start to reclaim your narrative rather than letting it control you.

Joao

It´s really about questioning those automatic and unconscious thoughts with our most rational and conscious self.

Joao

Another strategy I love is keeping a success journal. And this one’s powerful, you know? Because our brains are funny—they tend to focus on the negative, on what didn’t go right. But when you make a habit of writing down your wins, no matter how small they feel? You start creating this evidence bank of your competence, your growth, your worth. And on tough days, you can look back on it and remind yourself, 'I’ve been here before. I’ve accomplished things. I can handle this.'

Joao

And, of course, celebrating those wins is huge. We usually downplay our achievements, treating them like they don’t count or weren't entirely ours to claim. But taking the time to acknowledge what you’ve done—even if it’s just a quick, 'Hey, I did that, and I’m proud' moment—can really reinforce your confidence over time. It’s not about waiting until you’ve climbed the mountain; it’s about recognizing every step along the way.

Joao

Now, I know some of you might be thinking, 'This is all great, but where do I even start?' So here’s your HX experiment for the week: pick one moment, one instance, where imposter syndrome tends to hit you hard. Maybe it’s before a meeting, or when you’re trying something new. When it happens, write down what you’re feeling. Like, literally put it into words. Then, challenge those feelings with facts or evidence of what you’ve accomplished. And just observe—see how your perspective shifts over the course of the week. It’s a small step, but trust me, it’s powerful.

Joao

And in the end, you might even laugh at those thoughts once you bring them to reason.

Joao

And let me leave you with this thought—Marcus Aurelius, one of the great Stoics, once said, 'If it is not right, do not do it; if it is not true, do not say it.' What I take from that is the reminder to be authentic—to ourselves first and foremost. Because when you strip away the fear, the doubt, the second-guessing, what you’re left with is the real you. And that? That’s enough.

Joao

Okay, before the orchestra starts playing me off, let’s tie it all together with some final thoughts..

Joao

Coming back to that idea from Marcus Aurelius—to be authentic to ourselves—let’s take a moment to reflect on just how deep imposter syndrome can run. It’s not just fleeting moments of doubt; it’s a narrative that, for so many of us, we’ve been living with for years without challenging. But here’s the thing—it doesn’t have to define how we see ourselves or how we show up in the world. We hold the power to rewrite that story.

Joao

We started by understanding what it is—that sneaky narrative that tells you you’re not enough, even when the evidence says otherwise. Then we delved into the psychological roots with thinkers like Carl Jung and philosophies from the Stoics, who remind us to embrace authenticity and clarity. And, of course, we looked at how it impacts not just our personal relationships, but also our professional lives, where it can hold back innovation, connection, and confidence.

Joao

But we didn’t stop there, did we? We talked about practical, actionable strategies to face that inner impostor—whether it’s practicing self-compassion, reframing those negative thoughts, or keeping a success journal. It’s not about flipping a switch and instantly feeling like a superhero. It’s about those small, consistent steps that reinforce your confidence over time.

Joao

And that brings us to your HX experiment for the week—pick one area of your life where impostor syndrome pops up. Write down those feelings, challenge them with facts, and watch how your mindset begins to shift. Like I said earlier, it’s a small act but can have a huge impact.

Joao

I know that putting it this way can seem simple, but I know it´s not. Oh yeah, not at all. I know the struggle very well and I am personally still working on it...

Joao

Now, before we wrap this up, I want to take a moment to thank you. Truly, thank you for making time to be here, for being part of this journey, and for being willing to reflect on these deeply human experiences with me. It means more to me than I can say. And I really hope you gained something valuable from today’s conversation.

Joao

If you want to keep diving into these topics, don’t forget to check out our LinkedIn page, where we post articles that go even deeper on subjects like this. Or, if video’s more your speed, we’ve also got some great content on our YouTube channel. So, there’s plenty to explore if you’re hungry for more.

Joao

And on that note, I’ll leave you with this: Remember, you’re not an impostor. You’re human, you’re learning, and you’re growing. That voice in your head might feel loud sometimes, but it’s just a sliver of the full, amazing story of who you are.

Joao

Stay kind to yourselves, stay curious, and keep experimenting. Until next time—take care!